Docos on Ancient Worlds

You can't turn on the telly at the moment without falling over a show in which someone, in turn, is falling over a tomb, or a dinosaur bone, or a giant statue. Last week we had Akhenaten and Nefertititi: the royal gods of Egypt getting up to the usual Ancient Egyptian things - incest, sun worship, and building great cities. Next week, in the same time slot (ABC, 7.30pm, Sunday) is The Real Jason And The Argonauts. Prepare for the disappointing revelation that sex in Greek myth was often a metaphor for economic transactions and trade agreements. So that island full of sexy, man-hating women (who presumably, in-between fleets, got it on with each other) is really a story of foul smelling sheep dip.

Tomorrow night, same time same place, there is Egypt Eternal: Quest for the Lost Tombs, a show that is, despite everything I go onto say, engrossing television. Though perhaps not suitable viewing for pets given the number of mummified cat skeletons found. After that is finished you can cross to SBS's Lost Worlds: The Mystery Mummies of Rome at 8.30pm in which scientists unearth an ancient crypt containing two mummified bodies from the early period of the Roman Empire.

There is no doubt that all these subjects are interesting so why are these shows often - though not always - gobsmackingly boring to watch? In researching this column I fell asleep on the couch three times. A lot of the rest of the time I was giggling at the re-enactments. Take, for example, the expression on the face of the Jason as he prepares to fight fire breathing bulls and skeletons that burst from the earth. It's ridiculous - though I feel sympathy for him. What kind of expression should a young man assume under such circumstances?

Hyperbole rules in these documentaries, but it is, confusingly, delivered in dull, deep monotones. Everything is 'mysterious', discoveries are 'momentous', events are 'catastrophic', and the sophistication of these early cultures is 'incredible' and 'amazing'.

Why do we find it so remarkable that people from another century could do clever stuff? There is an Erich Von Daniken (of Chariot's of the Gods fame) vibe to many of these shows. A disbelief that people from another century or race shows any kind of sophistication. This gee whizzery is, I believe, a denial of what these facts indicate: that mankind has had to remake itself many times over. Hubris and warfare have destroyed many of our great civilizations - a point The Mystery of Easter Island (ABC, Wednesday November 26) explicitly makes. Ecological disaster, lack of respect for other human beings, all these throw people back to the dark ages. It might be too much to ask George Bush to watch a documentary - but perhaps we should send him a copy of the Charlton Heston version of Planet of the Apes? That should give him an idea of where many a powerful nation has ended up.

Posted by Sophie at 11:45 AM