Tuesday 31 May, 2005

Coming Out

One of the problems of travelling if you're gay, is all the questions you are asked about your husband. I usually just answer the questions ('What does he do') by saying he's in IT - a highly respected profession in this neck of the woods - and that's the end of that. It's harder with people who you are getting to know though, so when B. asked me if I had a partner, and I said yes, I was totally unsure of how to answer the question, 'What is his name'? I don't mind fudging a pronoun, but Virginia is a beautiful name, and I just couldnt' bring myself to say 'Steve' or one of the other names that flashed through my head. So I said, 'Virginia'. B. who is an elderly Sri Lankan patriarch, (though has also lived in Australia) looked slightly bemused and then I blurted out 'I'm gay'. It was, in fact, the first time I've had to come out like that. He reassured me that there was no reason to feel embarrased, but then we didn't really know what else to say about it. Then, this morning, over my egg hoppers (fried eggs in a deep fried basket of pancake like yumminess, served with pickle and dhal), B. asked me how long I'd been gay. I told him 4 years. He asked me why, and I used the obvious excuse - I said that Australian men aren't much chop. He nodded, mournfully, then said he thought men's hopelessness was an international problem.

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