Friday 26 January, 2007

The adventures of Bird and Wilson, part 123

I suppose you're all upset about Nicole Kidman being in a car crash and everything, but what I say to you is, 'What about me?'

This is what I look like this morning:. Yes, that's right. Like shit.

Please note the deep cut on upper lip: and side swipe to the nose: Okay, that's not so clear. But believe me, it's there.

These injuries were sustained at approximately 6.15 this morning as I was standing on a ladder in a stranger's front yard, getting Birdie off a roof. She went to the pub last night (The Standard, in case you were wondering - ) and hung out with Virginia. Virginia and I both returned home at 10.00 pm. Bird did not. Virginia woke at 5.30 a, realized Bird wasn't around and went to look for her. She returned after ten minutes or so to report that Bird was pacing, hysterical, on the roof of a house in the street behind us. Cut to 6.15 am and I am on a ladder, in front of an alarm sign, and illuminated by the front light which has a senser and keeps going on and off. I dragged Bird from the roof by the scruff of the neck, then she freaked out and kicked me in the face with her back feet. (The same hind legs she uses to disembowel pidgeons - no photo provided). I bled alot and cried a bit before it occured to us it was a weird scene and we scurried away. Then Virginia, Bird and I, returned to bed for a couple of hours, (to be woken only by the sweet sound of Wilson pouncing on Bird under the blankets and trying to attack her).

So, I present for you, dear reader, the true face of evil:

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