Spring is here

This article first appeared in The Age on September 25, 2004

Well, here it is. That one day in September. While you, like me may be dreaming of a similar day in a parallel universe, a universe where St Kilda kicked those extra 6 points and Geelong made the extra 9, we need to face the facts. Today it's Port Adelaide who wont stop, stop, stop until they're top, top, top vs. Brisbane Lions who will fight for victory like Fitzroy and Bears of old (Bears of Old? That's instant history for you.) As a Cats supporter, I will perversely, be forced to barrack for the Lions because I live in Fitzroy. The connection is tenuous, but that will be inevitable for most of us living in Melbourne.

When I think of watching the grand final on TV I think of running outside when the balloons are released because I live close enough to the MCG to see them on both TV and for real. I think of HG and Roy commentating a Grand Final some years back, one where kids were dancing around a maypole in track suits, in wintery rain: 'That's Howard's Australia for you, relaxed and comfortable.' (Speaking of which, it will be riveting to see what team what leader sucks up to on the day and whether either of them have recovered from Thorpie saying last week that he didn't think much of either of them.) I also think of the 1994 and 995 Grand Final, the last times I had any real interest in this day.

Two weeks ago The Footy Show achieved its highest ratings for the year with Newman's sensitive interview with Glenn Archer and Wayne Carey. Gosh it was touching to see such grown powerful men get in touch with their emotions. Chris Judd of West Coast has won the Brownlow and still managed to sound like a very nice young man despite all the Vodka Lemon Limes. The same night we were treated to a fashion display that surely suggest Melbourne is the bosom capital of Australia. Now, as you read this Channel 10's broadcast will have already started (8.00am - 6.00p.m.) with the game itself kicking off at 2.30pm. The commentators are going to be the lovely Tim Lane, Stephen Quartermain, Anthon Hudson, Robert Walls, Mick Malthouse and Stephen Silvagni. If you want to mix it up with a bit of HG and Roy you will find them on JJJ. Barnesey will be singing. And, I keep being told, there will be 'Super Screens" whatever the @#%& they are.

Personally I will be eating my pies and yelling at my less super screen at home. If I just use my imagination and drink enough, perhaps I will be able to inhabit that alternative universe after all: We are Geelong, the greatest team of all, / We are Geelong, We're always on the ball,/ We play the game, as it should be played/ at home or far away . .

If you want to understand why love, like football, makes people stupid, watch Catalyst: Love Trap (ABC, Thursday, 8.00pm). Falling in love may be, technically speaking, a form of insanity. This will come as no surprise to Carrie on Monday night when Big returns to Sex and the City (Channel 9, 9.30 pm) for open heart surgery. Whether Carrie gives in to the madness caused by low seratonin levels is the theme of the final few episodes of this series. Not to mention our hope that Samantha will finally discover Oxytocin (a chemical that aids bonding and attachment) and settle down with Smith.

Permanent Link for this Article