Rockwiz

This article first appeared in The Age on February 26, 2005

There are some losses too painful to talk about. It's now 17 years since the final episode of Countdown went to air, leaving a whole generation to the not-so-tender mercies of MTV. So, where are all those Countdown fans now? If my experience in the studio audience of Rockwiz is any indication, they are in the Gershwin room drinking beer and filling out questionnaires in the hope of being a Rockwiz contestant. Or they are sitting in front of the SBS at 9.15 pm on Saturday nights yelling answers at the TV or SMS-ing answers to the home viewer competition. Indeed one of the special guests in weeks to come, Tex Perkins, picked The Countdown Years as his specialty. This was such an exciting mixture of sex, danger and inane trivia that the audience were quite besides themselves. Apparently he used to watch the show wearing a pair of stubbies and nothing else. (Insert grrr sounds here).

Yes, that's right, dear reader, my generation is flourishing in an environment of uninhibited rock nerdery, displaying their knowledge of obscure lyrics, admitting their first concert was to see Jamie Redfern or boasting that the first album they purchased was by Deep Purple.

Rockwiz is many things. It is very daggy, and I mean that as a compliment. It is very Melbourne - from the venue, the Esplanade, a pub that holds many dubious memories for most Melbournites; to the show's creator, ubiquitous Melbourne identity Brian Nankervis who many of us first saw back in the 1980s at the Last Laugh, or on the Red Faces segment of Hey Hey It's Saturday. Brian is also the warm up king of Melbourne, and has worked the studio audiences before shows such as Full Frontal, Lano and Woodley, and The Panel. He is on the stage as well as behind the scenes in Rockwiz and is the show's score master, a duty he performs erratically. (He'll throw in bonus points if one of the panel is appropriately entertaining or has, perhaps, been touched by some famous rock person and is prepared to divulge the details). You might also recognize Julia Zemiro, Rockwiz's MC, from Good News Week or Totally Full Frontal. She's terrific and helps balance out what can be - like all things rock n' roll - a boysy show.

While Rockwiz is hi-vibe, it is low tech, with a set that looks like a slightly jazzed up living room and a human score board: a stage manager called Dougall. He has very nice arms and waves around bits of cardboard with a score written on them at the end of each segment.

The music is great. The Rockwiz's Orchestra's (Peter Luscombe, James Black and Mark Ferrie) riffs are played for the recognition section of the game but they are so good you want them to keep going. The guests sing as they come on, and then perform a duet at the end of the show - look out for a particular beautiful rendition of 'Love Hurts', between two of the sexiest people in Australia Rock. (Insert second grrr here). Special guests in the past have included Angie Hart, Tim Rodgers and Rebecca Barnard, and in the future will include Jimmy Little, Paul Kelly, Sophie Kroh and Deborah Conway.

So, to warm you up, here are a few questions to ponder before tonight's episode: Who declared he was a 'hunka hunka burnin' love'? Exactly how hot was he? In sexuality Billy Bragg suggested that safe sex didn't mean no sex, it just mean you should use. . .what?

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